2017 – Create – Manifest – Awaken

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My yellow flowers

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The energy of “1”. A universal 1 year of new beginnings.

I don’t know about you, but for me, 2017 is feeling different. There is a strange kind of energy. A real kick in the pants, clear the crap, start fresh kind of energy. I am being confronted with a lot of grief. People losing loved ones and cherished pets and going through the process of grieving. I am also seeing my thoughts manifest themselves almost daily.

Sometimes it’s hard to know whether I am experiencing premonitions or whether I am creating my reality through my thoughts. I’m open to either of those options, and strive to remain positive in case it is the latter.

I have had various messages (usually a male voice) come to me in the past, just as I am waking from sleep or once when I was driving in the car. Apart from the car message, which was simply about turning my radio on so I could hear about a traffic incident, my other messages have been little warnings of an upcoming life-changing event. I feel that these were given to me in order to keep me calm during the event. It gives me a sense that all is well and everything is unfolding just as it should.

Lately, some of my recurring thoughts (those which have just popped up from nowhere and then kept squeezing their way into my conscious mind) have not been positive. Other thoughts have just been about a song on the radio, or a current event. One of my latest little thoughts to have become reality was to do with yellow flowers. Since moving into our little house almost two years ago I have kept thinking of yellow flowers out the front. I’m not sure why, but it just seemed right. (I did put a little pot plant next to the front door, but to date it is yet to flower.) So this week, after days of manifesting thoughts which weren’t all positive, I opened the blinds in the early morning to be greeted by some beautiful yellow flowers blooming on the front fence. They weren’t planted by us, but the little vine has taken off recently and I am so glad we didn’t pull it out thinking it was a weed.

For me, 2017 is the beginning of a new cycle. I am receiving a message that this cycle is going to be one of creating and nurturing new life, manifesting my dreams and awakening myself to the divine source. January is just the beginning.

The card I pulled for January is below. Fog & Mist (reversed), meaning the fog is lifting and things are becoming clearer. Time for me to venture forth and explore!

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“Things are becoming a bit clearer. The fog is lifting and the mist is dissipating.” – From The Nature Speak Oracle by Ted Andrews

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Imagine

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The time I visited John Lennon Wall in Prague (2011)

Imagine – The song by John Lennon, released in 1971, about a year after The Beatles officially broke up – is a timeless anthem of peace and love. It helped cement Lennon’s standing as a solo artist and is a shining example of peaceful activism and pure idealism.

I have always loved this song. A favourite for as long as I can remember. When I was pregnant I would listen to this song and cry, because yes, I can imagine, but maybe that’s all I will ever be able to do.

Why can’t we make it a reality?

Let’s face it, everyone loves this song. Everyone wants to imagine a perfect world. So if we can imagine it, why can’t we make it a reality? Perhaps because we are shown daily footage of war and destruction; of terrorism and disaster. We’re told to batten down the hatches, it’s every man for himself! Protect yourself or YOU are NEXT! We are told to fear our neighbours, our fellow humans and we’re told that idealism is not realism. But, there are those of us who do try. We are the people who recycle; who live off grid; who don’t buy into mainstream media; who lift others up instead of tearing them down; who welcome and embrace instead of blocking and fearing; who take what we need and share that which is plentiful. The stories we hear are of the opposite, but this life does exist. Our society values selfishness and greed, yet our natural state is love.

Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

If a shift is to occur – a revolution, if you will – we need to be heard. We need to show others that it is okay to be idealistic. It is okay to want to change the world for the better. It is not far fetched or childish (not that there is anything wrong with children and their thought patterns). Start with yourself – if it feels right in your heart and your gut then you are on the right track – and then share your changes with the people around you (gently – lead by example). Stand up and speak up when something isn’t fair. Just because it has “always been done that way” doesn’t mean there is not a better way. You have the power – WE have the power – to create a better world.

Namaste

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one”

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Just Do It!

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Excerpt: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

So lately I have been considering further study. By lately, I mean, literally the past week or two. Around the time bubba turned 6 months old a veil lifted and I felt ready to rejoin the world, although not to the same capacity as before. I feel change brewing and an internal drive and feeling of mild anxiety is pushing me to make a move.

I have applied to university!

Eek! What have I done? Three formal offers have come to me so far, out of the six courses I have applied for. There are so many things to consider…

  • Do I study part time and work part time? This will mean that the degree may potentially take 10 years to complete (particularly if another bubba comes along during that time).
  • Do I study full time? I would love to smash it out in four years, but what about money? Gee it would be tight if we were only living on one income. Perhaps I could do some casual work on the side – but how do I find time to be mama?
  • Would I be stressed and would my child suffer due to my distraction?

I want to be fully available to my child/ren. I never wanted to be a parent who is too busy with her daily life to really be there 100% for her child/ren but, now here I am, being pulled in a direction that I know is going to take some of my energy away from that of motherhood. That being said, surely my daughter growing up and seeing her mother striving and achieving personal goals will be a positive influence on her life.

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The cards I have pulled with this conundrum in mind are pictured above. The message I am getting is “just do it”, now is as good a time as any. I have the power and intelligence (both mental and emotional). I have worked hard to get to this point in my life and it is time to reap what I have sewn – build onto the foundations I have worked so hard to lay. And finally, I am adaptable and malleable – I have the ability to maintain a balance in my life. There will be hard times, but there will also be good times and this balance; this ebb and flow; this yin and yang (see my Instagram post on yin yang) is what our life here on earth is all about. It is all a learning.

So now I will await all of my offers and weigh up my options. Here’s to the ever changing nature of life on earth.

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Third Eye-Sight and Baby Number Two?

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Signs and visions have come to me throughout my life. I have not noticed them daily, although I am sure they are there. Mostly they have come through dreams, but they have also come through voices and visions during my waking life and also simply through the people I meet or the way certain things unfold throughout my day. I have always been open to these signs and ready to act upon the messages I receive (see my related blog posts here and here).

At the beginning of November, my baby hit 6 months old. Boy oh boy did that fly by! Prior to her birth my husband and I had discussed trying for baby number 2 in very quick succession. I have had some issues with my reproductive health so we thought it might be the best option (medically speaking) not to put another pregnancy off for too long. Motherhood is a funny thing though. It opens you in ways that years of practice had been unable to. My heart has never been so open and as I am running on intuition at all times, my Third Eye is of course, very open. This being the case, these past thoughts with a focus on western medicine and statistical practicality no longer seem like the correct path to follow.

In the lead up to the six month mark, three years started to play on my mind. This isn’t just about me anymore, I now have a little human to take into consideration. If I can give my little girl 3 years of breastfeeding, three years of being treated as the baby and nurtured as such before bringing another baby into the family I feel that my little girl will be able to make the transition from baby to big sister with greater awareness and with greater ease. No longer was I prepared to have two under two.

Five days ago, after sitting on these thoughts for a few days, I stopped at a service station for petrol after visiting a friend one hour’s drive away. The attendant complimented me on my beautiful baby and we started talking. She asked if bubba was my first, which she is (see my post on motherhood here), then out of the blue she told me that her daughter has two very close together. She then went on to say that although her daughter loves her children, in hindsight she thinks that a larger age gap would have been nice. She shared that her daughter thinks that three years would have been ideal so that she could really appreciate the infancy of baby no.1. What a sign! I thanked the lady and told her that we were obviously meant to meet as she has just given me confirmation. I know that following my instinct to leave a larger gap between my children is the right thing to do for our family.

I love how serendipitous my life is. So full of signs and connections. I am at peace that everything in my life is unfolding just as it should. In this life, I am blessed.

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Depressed, or just surrounded by a$$holes?

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I am sure we have all seen this meme floating around social media at some point in the past few years. I know I have seen it shared multiple times on Facebook and the like. When I see it I always ponder it and keep scrolling – it just doesn’t sit right with me. Let’s look a little more deeply into what this is really saying.

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.

First of all, the original author of this quote is a talented science fiction writer and I in no way want to take away from or put down his writing style.

I see blame in this statement. Externalisation and blame on others for the way that you feel. Now I’m not saying that you are not surrounded by assholes or that this is not the reason you are feeling blue. Nor am I saying that anyone would bring mistreatment on themselves, or ‘deserve’ to be mistreated. What concerns me is the need in our society to blame our negative experiences on others. Conversely, I can also appreciate that this quote will help some to think a little more deeply into their situation and discover that perhaps they don’t deserve to be treated badly.

Life is one big exercise in learning. We are all here with lessons to learn. Not everyone is learning the same lessons, but many of us intertwine and overlap and seemingly clash in order to learn and grow. If we are, in fact, surrounded by assholes then perhaps we need to have a think about why this is. Why do I keep ending up in abusive or co-dependent relationships? Why do I have friends who treat me badly or put me down? Why do colleagues sabotage my work? What do I need to learn from these people!? Maybe it’s a lesson in self worth and the ability to put yourself first and move away from these people, maybe it’s a lesson in self control, maybe it’s a lesson in speaking up and making yourself heard. What I do know is that if you are open to it then the lesson will me made clear. If you are not open to the lesson, which can be very normal as we are only human and, let’s face it, can be overwhelmed by emotions, then the same situation will continue to reappear in your life until the lesson is learned (or we die and start again).

I read a very interesting blog post on lost souls a while ago, which you can find here. I think in our modern world a lot of us have become lost on our path. Life is a confusing thing to be a part of and with our consumer driven society pushing us farther away from our true natural state of being, sometimes it feels easier for a sensitive being who comes from a place of pure energy to simply switch off and become numb (hello, addiction) rather than navigate the minefield of life with an open heart, but the key here is to remember where we came from.

So, are you surrounded by assholes? Good! What is your next step?

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Anxiety

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Anxiety/Niepokoj by Kamlot-ART

The crushing whirlwind of skin crawling breathless energy that is anxiety. Where does it come from? What makes us feel this way? Why does it have to happen? My 8 tips on how to get through it to the other side.

Anxiety for me is a feeling in my chest which radiates through tense muscles into my shoulders, up my neck and into my head. It’s a tightness, a fluttering, a dizziness; sometimes a crushing feeling, shortness of breath. I feel as though I am sitting outside of my body. My energy is out and about instead of gathering inside of me. The opposite of being ‘centered’.

Anxiety is feeling overwhelmed, stressed, fatigued, fragile, short-tempered, frustrated, nervous… it’s too many thoughts in your head and not enough hours in the day. I can’t imagine that many people living in modern/western society go through life without experiencing some level of anxiety on a fairly regular basis. (See my previous post touching on anxiety and energy here).

For our ancestors, anxiety as we know it did not exist. Stress was a very useful tool in keeping a person alive. The fight or flight response as we now know it would kick into play when a person was confronted with a life threatening scenario – think, a carnivorous saber tooth tiger suddenly appears in front of you. Stress hormones kick into play – cortisol is released into the body from the adrenal glands, this shuts down many basic functions within your body leading to increased blood sugar, high blood pressure, sodium and water retention. In a life or death (fight or flight) situation this will give you the energy you need to run or stay and fight for your life. If you are feeling like this all the time, you can see how this can be problematic to your health. (If you’re interested in reading a little more in depth on your body’s response to stress, I liked this article here).

I know first hand that constant stress and anxiety takes a toll on your health. Physically, I am affected considerably by stress. I lose weight, I get sick a lot (colds, flus and tummy bugs), I even get rashes! Through trial and error and a lot of internal work on myself I have come up with some coping mechanisms and strategies to help me get through periods of anxiety and lessen the length of my suffering.

  1. Remember, nothing is permanent. This too shall pass. This is basically my mantra when I am at breaking point. It reminds me that this is not simply ‘my life now’. It helps me to maintain that positive outlook when nothing else seems positive.
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  2. Chant a mantra or repeat an affirmation. As above, it helps me remain positive. Your mantra can be anything at all, but the key thing here is that you have to actually believe it. I like to write it on a piece of paper and repeat it over and over until I feel calm.
  3. Write. Get those thoughts out of your head and onto paper – or, you know, a blog. You will be amazed at the insight when you read it over a few months or years down the track.
  4. Breathe. Simple right? You would think so, but when we’re stressed we tend to take lots of shallow breaths instead of breathing deeply and filling our lungs. There are some great apps around to help you keep track and stay on task when you are trying to do this, such as Paced Breathing, Prana Breath and Breathing Exercises. If you are in no state to meditate, then this is the next best thing.
  5. Be aware/ be present. Nobody knows your body better than you. You are able to access and become aware of every tiny cell that makes your physical body. Us sensitive types tend to sense the tiniest fluctuation within (or without) our bodies. If I can feel that I am being affected physically by anxiety, just the process of slowing down and pinpointing where and what and (most importantly) why I am feeling it can help bring me back inside myself.
  6. Recognise your trigger/s. Mine seems to be change (usually just prior to a big change, whether I already know it’s coming or not), particularly when it involves love or living from the heart. I also suffer anxiety when a close family member or friend is going through a tough time. As a life path 4, I believe I am here to live from the heart (Heart Chakra = fourth chakra) and likely mend some past life issues around my heart and loving relationships. (You can find your life path here and see my blog post on why I work in a caring profession here).
  7. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve tender loving care. Take time out if you need to, go and get a massage, take a bath, burn some essential oils or incense, practice yoga, be alone, say no, put yourself first. This is not being selfish, this is called self care. And last, but not least:
  8. Seek help. If you are not coping on your own, it may be time to seek help outside of yourself. A good holistic counsellor would be my first preference, but any counsellor with a recommendation is worth a visit. Trust your instinct and you will find a counsellor that gels with you and suits your needs.
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Why I Work in a Caring Profession

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One of my earliest memories is of finding my mother sitting on her bed crying. I would have barely been 3 years old and my father had just left. I asked her what was wrong and she told me. I then asked if she wanted a tissue – I got her a cute little hankie from my room, handed it to her and watched while she dried her eyes. I have always had a caring instinct.

Flip forward a few years through childhood with a mostly absent father, a depressed mother and a younger sister crying out for unconditional love and approval. Through my teen years I switched off. I tuned out of my feelings as a way to cope. I became depressed, I kept people at arms length, I used drugs and alcohol and I self-harmed.

At 15 I fell in love. That head over heels, hurts to be apart type love. I remember getting butterflies in my tummy (solar plexus chakra = the centre for willpower and control) when I saw him… my willpower was starting to waver. I couldn’t hold my love in anymore. This relationship helped me to open my heart again, of course, in the end it was destined to fail because, although there was a lot of love (at least on my part) there were also many, many things about this person that were incompatible with my personal journey and so at 23, my heart was broken. (More on that in my previous blog post here).

Throughout this relationship I had been working at various government organisations in various administration roles. Having come from a working class family, there was never any talk of further education after high school. I was told to get a job and when I landed my first role in local government at 19 I was given nothing but congratulations, “You’re set now”, “You’ll always be taken care of working in a cushy government job”, and so my working life began. Work, work, work all week and party hard all weekend. I hated going to work and I was sick all the time. I would get the flu twice each year (usually August and December) and have other colds and other illnesses in between. Through all of this I was always a hard worker and a valued employee.

In the lead up to my relationship breakdown I was experiencing severe anxiety and dose after dose of tonsilitis (throat chakra = speaking your truth / being heard) and when it all finally came to a head the anxiety peaked. I had what I now consider a breakdown. I could not face work for a good 2 or 3 weeks and when I did I found I had lost all drive. I used to consider stress at work to be a sign that I was working hard and doing well. If I wasn’t super busy all the time I would complain about being bored. I think I had turned myself into some kind of robot, just distracting myself so that I didn’t start thinking about why I was wasting my life in a job I felt nothing for. Using my brain, but not my heart. Suddenly, when my mind couldn’t cope, I realised that my heart wasn’t in it.

What came next were years of transformation – of remembering my inner self and striving to live an authentic life. I quit my job and travelled, then worked and quit my job and travelled again. I experienced freedom and learnt to be independent. Travelling alone was the best thing I ever did with regard to building my self worth and resilience. I experienced so many new things and I came to rely on myself completely. By far the most profound experience I had was in Bali. I had many epiphanies and visions while staying at a guest house in Ubud. This is where I began to heal my heart – surrounded by the luscious greenery of the jungle and the rice fields, I found peace. Little did I know it, but three years later I would be back in Ubud for my wedding.

So I had gone away with the intention of discovering my purpose in life and I came back knowing that my next step was going to involve working with children in need. I felt I had the skill and empathy required to do this work. My heart was opening, I had the support of a loving partner and my pathway was becoming clear.

After volunteering with a school and two children’s charities for the better part of a year, a job came up at one of the charities – I knew straight away that it was for me. I had never felt that way about applying for a job before – anxious, but excited. A ball of nervous energy – and I was a success. Now I know that this job is merely a stepping stone (as I have also been studying part time), but I know I’m now on the right path. I get a feeling of accomplishment from my job and I get to experience joy in knowing that I am making a difference in the lives of some.

Next step… using my counselling Diploma.

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