It’s been a long time since my last post. Two years to be exact. Why has it taken me so long to come back? It’s not like I’ve had nothing to write about… on the contrary, things have been full on these past two years. I got married! Yes, to my soulmate. We bought a house! Cute as a button and neat as a pin. I finished my diploma (in the nick of time)! We had a baby! Wow what a whirlwind. But more on that later…
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I have found myself in a situation which has forced me to slam on the brakes, so to speak – Motherhood. Me. The person who always had too much on her plate… working full time, studying, volunteering, trying to maintain a social life, attempting occasional yoga or meditation classes (because, you know, you’ve got to pencil in time for inner peace). Suddenly everything just stopped, and motherhood began.
I hadn’t realised just how distracted I had become. Life was busy. I had time to fill. Every second had the potential to be filled with a task, even if it was simply perusing my phone. Motherhood requires presence. A baby requires 100% attention, care and above all, love.
I found pregnancy difficult. Like so many women, I ignored my body when it told me to slow down. I continued to push myself through terrible morning (all day) sickness and when that didn’t stop me, symphysis pubis dysfunction reared it’s ugly head. I cried nearly every morning before work for weeks. Exhausted, sick and barely able to walk towards the end, I still managed to get my final assignments in for my diploma just 6 days before giving birth. What kept me going? Well, I guess it was an unreasonable expectation I had on myself. I know I’m not alone in thinking this, but I felt like stopping and resting would be failing. Eventually I did stop and rest. And then came baby.
What an absolute whirlwind of sleep deprived delirium. Strangely enough, although I had fought my natural instincts for so long, once I had my babe in arms I was completely under their influence. Pregnancy and birth involves the opening of the heart chakra and I can see and feel that with the birth of my babe this is exactly what began to happen within me.
My journey with my little one here on earth began a little over 5 months ago and I am finally seeing my purpose unfolding before me. Living from the heart.
I will be sharing more on my journey each day and would love to hear from like minded mamas. How has motherhood affected you?